Pastorette's Progress

This blog finds me struggling.  Struggling with knowing what I am "called" to do.  Struggling with what not to do or not do so much of, etc.etc. I know I am called to be a pastor's wife.  I know because I know Rusty was called to preach and I was called to be his wife!!!    I know that being a pastor's wife means being involved.  I know that I don't want to be a side-line pastor's wife.  I want to work, serve, and faithfully be in attendance. I know I want to be a helpmate to him not only in our ministry but in our home as well. Genesis 2:18    Then the  Lord  God said, “It is not good that the man should be alone; I will make him a helper fit for him.” I know I am called to be a mom , and not just a mom, but a godly mom...of an autistic son and ADHD daughter. Proverbs 22:6  Train a child in the way he should go, and when he is old he will not turn from it. I believe with every fiber of my being that ...

We had one of the best days homeschooling thus far...at least in regards to Alec's behavior!! Once I began to recover from my downward spiral (THROUGH MUCH PRAYER), God's plan began to unfold as I re-did the schedule and the lesson plans, re-arranged the room, etc.  I began to see the good that God was working out. Some of His plans... especially in regards to my relationship with Bailey as well as helping Alec to be more independent.  With the girls working mostly on their own, that left me with a lot more time to spend with the boys - all three of us...together...for like 3 hours!!!  Each day Alec was getting worse and worse and I was struggling with what to do. (Funny how quickly we lose sight of the big picture when we are in a downward spiral!!)  Losing Sydney forced me to make some changes in how we do school.  They will ALL have to be more independent now - which is a good thing.  I will have to be Bailey's lab partner -w...

My picture of a downward spiral!!!! To say that today did not go as planned would be an understatement!!!  This is definitely going to be a "poor my heart out" post.  I will probably ramble and not make sense at times so bear with me.  As you know, I have been homeschooling for a few weeks now, and it has been going great!!!  Well... really good... most of the time!!!  Things are always a little tough with my Alec, especially my un-medicated Alec!!  But we have been making progress as we make changes to help with the day - the schedule, the curriculum, etc. Things with the girls have been wonderful.  Bailey is verbally admitting her enjoyment of homeschooling. This is a huge accomplishment from spewing venom!!!!  They enjoy their day so much, especially Science... which ... brings me to the downward spiral part. Today I found out that Sydney won't be coming back.  Her family has decided to go in a different di...

How about those cute boots!! Well, it is the Sunday before Christmas and I am staying with my mom who had her fifth chemo treatment Friday. My family just stopped by in their Christmas best - they are beautiful. As I am sitting here reflecting on how much my life has changed during the past year, it is mindbloggling . The most changes, however, have occurred with Bailey. We almost wear the same size (I did lose about 15 pounds this year!!...and she found them - mostly in her boobs!!!). We wear the same size shoes now and at first, I didn't handle it too well when every time I looked down (or went to look for MY shoes) there they were... on her feet. I would be furious, but as of late, I have decided to embrace this time and enjoy it - share my shoes, my sweaters, MY PANTYHOSE that she can only wear ONCE without ripping. I have to learn to enjoy my teenager. When I do, things are so much better. And really, how much do pant...

14 For we know that the law is spiritual, but I am of the flesh, sold under sin. 15For I do not understand my own actions. For I do not do what I want, but I do the very thing I hate. Why is that?? This verse sums up where I have been these last couple of weeks. Doing what I KNOW I shouldn't and not doing what I should. And believe me, I am reaping what I am sowing. I know the importance of my morning quiet time; I know the importance of reading God's Word; I know the importance of my prayer journal, but yet night after night I stay up too late watching T.V. Why do I care so much about The Biggest Loser and NCIS???? (Even though Gibbs and Tony are precious!!!!) I'll tell you why - MY FLESH and SINFULLNESS!!!!!! Lord, help me not to just realize my sinful choices, help me to change. Help me to remember how it feels to be close to you. Help me remember the importance of my personal relationship with you. Help me remember how much I need Your stre...

1 CORINTHIANS 13 – - A CHRISTMAS VERSION - By an unknown author If I decorate my house perfectly with plaid bows, strands of twinkling lights and shiny balls, but do not show love, I’m just another decorator. If I slave away in the kitchen, baking dozens of Christmas cookies, preparing gourmet meals and arranging a beautifully adorned table at mealtime, but do not show love, I’m just another cook. If I work at the soup kitchen, carol in the nursing home and give all that I have to charity, but do not show love, it profits me nothing. If I trim the spruce with shimmering angels and crocheted snowflakes, attend a myriad of holiday parties and sing in the choir’s cantata but do not focus on Christ, I have missed the point. Love stops the cooking to hug the child.Love sets aside the decorating to kiss the husband.Love is kind, though harried and tired. Love doesn’t envy another’s home that has coordinated Christmas china and table linens. Love doesn’t yell at the kids to get out of the wa...

God never ceases to amaze me. For the longest time, I have always written my prayers - mostly in a list fashion. But in the last couple of weeks, the Lord has allowed me to read two books that have completely changed my perspective on a "prayer journal." The first began in a Christian fiction book, The Scarlet Thread by Francine Rivers. In the story, the main character is reading a distant relatives journal - her heartaches, concerns, her coming to Christ, etc., and throughout the story you see how the two lives parallel as well as see the hand of God in this woman's life. It got me to thinking how much I would love my kids, my grand kids, to read about MY walk with Christ - the good, the bad, and the ugly and the hand of God in it all. I want my kids to know how much I prayed for them. I want them to know that God was with me even through the tough times. I want them to know that I relied on Christ every single day. I want them to understand God's grace and mercy a...

I am reading this book by a fellow blogger, Joanne Heim , and I am trying desperately to apply these principles to my life. This sections is pretty easy because God has blessed me with so many godly friends!!! Believing Friends - This section is talking about being "unequally yoked" in regards to friendships. A "simple" friendship begins with a believing friend. Proverbs 27:17 "...Iron sharpens iron..." I want believing friends who will sharpen me, who will challenge me and gently help me to see those things in myself that need to be changed. I want friends who will challenge me to continue to grow in Christ. I want friends who are walking down the same path, not pulling me in another direction. I want friends whom I aspire to be like. And as importantly, I want friends that Bailey will admire and emulate. I know the day is coming...I mean really, the day is here, when Bailey (my daughter) will seek advice from other people. I know that Bailey will not alw...

Well, this past Sunday, I feel for the first time like I have an actual direction for my book/Bible Study. I would like to share my story as well as point people to Christ using the fruits of the Spirit. What other way can a mom or other care giver raise an autistic, ADHD , or other disabled child, or a "normal" child for that matter than with the fruits of the Holy Spirit?? We need love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness , gentleness, and self-control EVERYDAY!!! We need an intimate relationship with Christ to possess these fruits in the first place, but then we need to seek God's grace, mercy, help, etc. daily to have these fruits manifesting in our daily lives. I know first hand how important these "fruits" are in raising my kids, and I know there are days that I fail miserably. But praise God His ways are not our ways and He forgives us 70 times seven, and we have another day to try again. I have two main goals before I turn 40 (I...

As I sit here writing today, with the aspirations of writing some type of material to share my story, Alec has just turned 12 and Bailey is 13 and somewhat of a recovering ADHD teenager. When I began to think back to how we got here - stories, experiences , etc. I am realizing that I am forgetting the details. That makes me very sad because it is in the details where I see the hand of God most. In the little triumphs is where I see God's blessing. It is in the trials and hard times that I remember His grace and mercy...where I learned about His grace and mercy...and I don't want to forget how we got here because I never want to forget that feeling of being utterly dependent on God.

I am toying with the idea of writing "something" and would like to use this blog as a sounding board. My main focus is our life with autism - how it affects each member of my family as well as how I am able to see God's grace everyday through autism. I want to talk about how we got where we are today, our struggles everyday, and my walk with Christ. I want this to be a Christ centered project full of scripture and through this book, I want my relationship with Christ to grow stronger and stronger. Our lives have been touched so much because of Alec and I want people to know that all things do work together for good to those that love God - even when at times we feel defeated and lost, when I stand back and look at the big picture, I see God every time. We have come so far and I know we have so much farther to go. As a pastor's wife, teacher, and mother of an autistic son and a semi recovering ADHD daughter, I marvel everyday of where I would be without my Lord ...

I had the opportunity to attend a Woman's Conference at a sister church in our area this past weekend. It was a wonderful study on how God uses ordinary women...ordinary sinful women, like Rehab (and me!!!), to do mighty things for God. One of the neatest points I remember was from Ephesians 2:10. It says, "For we are His workmanship (i.e. masterpiece), created in Christ Jesus for good works, which God prepared beforehand that we should walk in them." He is the Master and we are the pieces!!! It is like our lives are a big puzzle and ONLY God knows what the final picture will look like. We do however, in this life, get opportunities to see His hand at work in our lives everyday. What a blessing when we see the piece of the puzzle fit!! What a mighty God we serve!!

How neat it is when we see the hand of God in our lives! I have been struggling so much these last couple of weeks. Struggling to the point of even questioning my salvation. I kept thinking of the verse, "The prayers of a righteous man availeth much, " and I was constantly praying and feeling like I was getting no answers. Hence my thoughts that I wasn't converted. After spending several weeks having quiet times - reading and praying and doing everything I thought I was supposed to be doing, I couldn't understand why God wasn't doing what I thought He should be doing. Seriously! ( I had a Job moment after he finished complaining to God!!!) - did I really think that God actually owed me for doing what I need to be doing anyway?? That my friend is the power of sin and what can happen when we let Satan affect our thoughts!!! I thought that because my life wasn't getting easier so to speak, that God couldn't hear me. But praise God, He brought me to m...

As I went to church this morning, I went there very defeated. It has been a long week with LOTS of up and downs, and spiritually, I was not where I should have been. During the song service, the Lord got a hold of me like gravy on rice...and I was sincerely broken. Our song service began with the hymn "Because He Lives." That is when the softening began. Because He lives I CAN face tomorrow - even with an autistic son, even with a hurting back, etc. etc. It was all I could do to get the words out without weeping. The next song we sang was "The Power of the Cross" - As I sang that song and really focused on the words, my heart truly began to break and I couldn't hold back the tears anymore. Here's the chorus - The power of the cross, Christ became sin for us, took the blame, bore the wrath, we stand forgiven at the cross. The chorus alone will do you in when you really focus on what that song is saying. It really put a new light on my petty situation...my pr...

Well, this is my first official week of blogging. I have spent more time reading others' blogs and even more time trying to figure out how you all do ALL you do. I have read some amazing posts and it does my heart so good to know that in a world that is in such a funk, there are women out there who love and desire to serve our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ. As I read other women's blog, I am so inspired with things I want to do - wake up early, exercise, do crafts with my kids, cook, read, read, and read some more, be more organized, appreciate God's grace and mercy more, sit at His feet more, serve more, Study God's Word more, appreciate my blessings more - that one is a biggy -,be a better wife, be a better friend, be a better daughter, be a much better mom, be a better preacher's wife, etc., etc. My problem is my "life" keeps getting in the way. Or should I say, I keep letting my life get in the way. I frustrate myself so much by knowing what I need to...

Since I first started this blog a lot has changed in my family. The changes came about because for the first time in my daughters school life (she is in the 7 th grade), she is completely off her ADHD medicine. And my son, who has autism, is now fully off of his medicines. It has been a looooooong couple of weeks, but God is Sovereign, and we have come so far. I have had such a peace. The situation with Alec is a little more difficult because his disability is more extreme, but we are definitely making progress. But Bailey...the best way I can describe her is in a few short weeks she has gone from a caterpillar to a butterfly - a beautiful butterfly. Now, don't misunderstand, she is still 13 and can be quite brutal -ha ha, but she is growing up and maturing right before my eyes. God is so good, and He answers our prayers. We just have to have faith that He knows what is best for us, and even when it is tough, He will never leave us nor forsake us. What a mighty God we serve!!!!