Now I don't know much about football. My husband thought it was funny that this is the analogy and theme I chose to share with a group of pastor’s wives’ for a luncheon…but I really feel like this is where the Lord was leading me….our word for our ladies ministry this year is flourish…our focus in growing in grace…by His grace!
Last year we cultivated…we pruned and weeded and got our soil ready, and this year, our goal is to focus on growing…so as I was thinking and praying on how I could best encourage us today to flourish as pastor’s wives…I was reminded of philosophy of sorts that Rusty and I have tried to live and model for our family…TEAM REED….we wanted our kids to see that we work as a team…life is a team effort…even laundry…I remember my husband telling me early on in our marriage, that he was on my side…that he wanted me to succeed…….and we shared this with our daughter when she first got married that now she was part of TEAM REHIM…I even made her a TEAM REHIM sign….so thinking about this TEAM mentality just seemed to come together as a beautiful analogy of different ways we can come alongside our husbands to help our “teams”…and potentially each other.
Let’s start by mentioning our Head coach - Our husbands!!…Now we know the Lord is our HEAD HEAD coach, but go with me here. For our purposes, our husband is our head coach…He has a big job and the weight and responsibility of the “team” mostly falls on him…Hebrews 13:17, “Obey your leaders and submit to them, for they are keeping watch over your souls, as those who will have to give an account. Let them do this with joy and not with groaning, for that would be of no advantage to you.”
I don't want to minimize his role at all but this is a pastor’s wives luncheon so I want us to focus on the different positions we play that could help our whole team flourish…and who are our TEAMS???...OUR CHURCHES!!!!!
Ephesians 4:1-6…say, “I therefore, a prisoner for the Lord, urge you to walk in a manner worthy of the calling to which you have been called, with all humility and gentleness, with patience, bearing with one another in love, eager to maintain the unity of the Spirit in the bond of peace…
What a beautiful picture of unity and what it looks like when we are walking in a manner worthy of our calling…. when we are working together as a team.
Now, as the wife of the head coach, we have lots of different roles and responsibilities and jobs as pastor’s wives….different gifts and talents, callings….We wear lots of different hats!!!
1 PETER 4:10-11, “As each has received a gift, use it to serve one another, as good stewards of God's varied grace: whoever speaks, as one who speaks oracles of God; whoever serves, as one who serves by the strength that God supplies—in order that in everything God may be glorified through Jesus Christ. To him belong glory and dominion forever and ever. Amen.”
1 THESSALONIANS 5:11, “Therefore encourage one another and build one another up, just as you are doing.”
You want to flourish as a pastor’s wife?? Keep these verses on the forefront of you remind…serve with the gifts God has given you and seek to build up your husband and your people….and each other…that is one of the main purposes of today!!
So bear with me as we go through different positions that we see on and off the field….all of this is brought to you by Google…lol
So if our husbands are our head coach, it makes sense that in some ways as his helpmate, we would be an….
1.Assistant Coach….I had to do a lot of research, because again, I don't know much about football!!! But I found some helpful articles that were God ordained and fit this topic and theme perfectly…one said, “What makes a good assistant coach?
1.They are loyal to their head coach, to their program and to their “school”.
2. They do everything to support the head coach and uphold the philosophy of the program.
3. They are always willing to learn and open minded.”
Well jackpot…I just love Google!!!!
So, let's ask ourselves some questions….
Are we loyal to our husbands??
Definition of loyal is giving or showing firm and constant support…. would our husbands say that we are loyal?? Do we always have his back??
Are we supportive of our husbands?
Definition of support is providing encouragement or emotional help…would our husbands say we are supportive??.... Are we quick to come alongside or are we more likely to criticize how he handled a particular situation??
Are we open minded when it comes to his ideas?
Open minded means being willing to consider ideas and opinions that are new or different to your own….let that sink in for a minute lol…now I don’t know about your husbands but mine has LOTS of ideas…and his mind works very different from mind…and we have been married almost 30 years and I’d say it took the first 10-15 before I really learned what it meant to be open minded about his ideas….to be respectful when he shares his thoughts and ideas…we have such an opportunity when our husbands share theirs hearts with us to either tear them down or build them up…….we have an opportunity to not only support them but help them accomplish those ideas…
and then being willing to learn…would our husbands say we have a teachable spirit?? Would the members of our church??...because oh sweet sisters we have much to learn, and I believe the Lord uses our position as a pastor’s wife to teach us much!....having a teachable spirit and being sanctified go hand in hand, we grow by learning…and mistakes help us to grow…(Personal testimony…when we were newly married, Rusty was trying to teach me something…probably cooking related because he is a much better cook than me, but my young prideful self told him “I was not here to learn”....well brutal and shame on me…oh how the Lord has humbled me and shown me just how much I have to learn!!!!)
Proverbs has much to say about our need for a teachable spirit…
Proverbs 9:9, “Give instruction to a wise man, and he will be still wiser; teach a righteous man, and he will increase in learning.”
Proverbs 12:1, “Whoever loves discipline loves knowledge, but he who hates reproof is stupid.”
Proverbs 13:18, “Poverty and disgrace come to him who ignores instruction, but whoever heeds reproof is honored.”
Sweet friends, we need instruction from our husbands for sure, but even more than that we need instruction for our Lord…we can’t flourish as pastor’s wives without being the WORD ourselves….every single day!
Our next position…Sometimes we need to be the
2. Offensive Coordinator…. An article I read said that a good offensive coordinator is a good teacher. They are knowledgeable, they can influence you in a positive way based on that knowledge, and they hold you accountable to become a better player. Wow!! Just a little side note here, another way I believe we can all flourish spiritually is by having an accountability partner…or two or three…we need people asking us what we are studying, where and what are we reading in the Word…we need to be asked “How is your prayer life and your devotional time with the Lord?…and not to make us feel guilty, but to remind us that we need to be intentional with our walks and then at the same time, we need to be asking our sisters in Christ the same questions…they need to know we are interested in their spiritual lives.
Another article said, “Offensive coordinators are prevention oriented and look to develop plans in order to minimize drama. They make things happen. These players (quarterbacks, running backs and receivers) try to anticipate what will happen and respond accordingly with the intent to advance. Team first is their mode of operation.”
WOW! This makes me want to be an offensive coordinator!! Oh how I would love to be seen as the person on TEAM REFORMATION that likes to minimize drama and is prevention oriented…of course I had to google that too…Prevention-oriented individuals show less risk tolerance and, instead, are motivated by psychological safety and security, evidenced by emotional calm and contentment. The prevention-oriented individual thrives when stability is assured and negativity is controlled….this was a scientific definition on Google, but what this says to me is this is a person filled with grace…this is a person who has the Holy Spirit working inside of her, sanctifying her…her calmness and contentment comes from her personal relationship with Jesus….her desire is to advance the Kingdom of God and in order to do that she knows she needs to crucify her flesh daily….she needs to be paying attention anticipating that the devil comes to kill, steal, and destroy…he does not want TEAM REFORMATION to win!!!!
1 Thessalonians 4:11, “and to aspire to live quietly, and to mind your own affairs, and to work with your hands, as we instructed you.”
Matthew 28:18-20, “And Jesus came and said to them, “All authority in heaven and on earth has been given to me. Go therefore and make disciples of all nations, baptizing them in the name of the Father and of the Son and of the Holy Spirit, teaching them to observe all that I have commanded you. And behold, I am with you always, to the end of the age.”
This is how we advance the kingdom!!!!!! That should be our priority…you want to flourish as a pastor’s wife, share the gospel and preach the gospel to yourself!!!!
Now sometimes we will need to…
3. Play Defense for our husbands….one article I read said, “While most coaches will tell you that it's all about effort, the truth is, it's more than just effort that makes a good (or great) defensive player. It's about footwork, balance, strength, and believe it or not, discipline.
Being disciplined is where I want to focus…There is much to say about the need and importance for us to be disciplined as pastors' wives…..The definition of disciplined is showing a controlled form of behavior. In an effort to defend our husbands, sometimes it is hard “to show a controlled form of behavior”…because we have the inside scoop…we know our husbands and their hearts and it breaks our hearts when they are misunderstood, underappreciated, and when they don't receive grace…so what should it look like for us to “Play defense”???? Or what should it not look like….because it’s in our nature to want to defend and explain and fix the things….but oh how our mouths can get us into trouble and so often we can make things worse…..may we be quick to listen and slow to speak, Friends….may we be even quicker to take our concerns to the Lord rather than to our people…we must pray without ceasing for our husbands, and our ministry, for our TEAM…because when we pray instead of act, we show that we trust the Lord with our husbands and their reputations…and ours…may we trust that just like the Lord uses situations in our own relationships to grow us and teach us, He is doing the same thing for our husbands…
There are lots of different defensive positions, and I can't even begin to tell you what they all do….defensive tackles ,defensive ends, linebackers, cornerbacks, and my favorite (now) is the safety….As its name states, safety is the defense's last line of defense. The safety's job is to make sure no offensive players run or catch the football for a touchdown. They are often the deepest player on the defense. The last line of defense…so what if sometimes the Lord is using us as wives to be our husbands last line of defense??? Their final protection from Satan discouragement, their reminder of their callings…the voice in their head reminding them to finish strong and endure to the end…..so as we play defense for our husbands, let be their safe space, a listening ear, an encourager, and make sure they know we have their backs and are willing to sift through all the things for our good and God’s glory.
Titus 2:11-12, “For the grace of God has appeared, bringing salvation for all people, training us to renounce ungodliness and worldly passions, and to live self-controlled, upright, and godly lives in the present age,”....what a beautiful verse encouraging us to love disciplined lives.
Philippians 4:6-7, “Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known to God. And the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.”
You want to flourish as a pastor’s wife….Be your husband's biggest fan….
4. be his Cheerleader! Support his ideas, be a sounding board, take notes during his sermon; let him know when he hits it out of the park!!!...and be intentional to rally the rest of the folks…be excited about the outreaches and work day and working in the nursery!!!!
So often just like we as women set the tone in our homes, we as the pastor's wives, we set the tone for the church…especially of the women!!! WOWSER…that is so convicting!!
Colossians 3:23-24, “Whatever you do, work heartily, as for the Lord and not for men, knowing that from the Lord you will receive the inheritance as your reward. You are serving the Lord Christ.”
1 Timothy 4:12, “Let no one despise you for your youth, but set the believers an example in speech, in conduct, in love, in faith, in purity.
1 Thessalonians 5:12-13, “We ask you, brothers, to respect those who labor among you and are over you in the Lord and admonish you, and to esteem them very highly in love because of their work. Be at peace among yourselves.”
Ladies, we have an opportunity to set such a beautiful example…. If they see us excited and involved and serving, it might just encourage them to do the same…which leads me to our last, and to me, our sweetest and most important position…well it’s not really a position per se, but very necessary!!
5. The Waterboys…or in our case, Water Girls!!!!...According to Google,...their main task is to keep players hydrated by making sure there is always water and other liquids available while they are playing and training.
Here is my Adam Story…..he’s the water boy for his son’s CHEF football team….and it makes my heart so happy to see him in his work clothes with his towel draped over his shoulder hauling that water out on the field for those boys at every time out!!!!!
It is not a glamorous job, but it is a necessary job…the players can’t play without water….and if you’ve ever read the Well-watered woman….you’ll understand why I say this is such an important position….because we can’t live without water either!!....The beverage or the Living Water of His Word!!!
Isaiah 58:11, “And the Lord will guide you continually and satisfy your desire in scorched places and make your bones strong; and you shall be like a watered garden, like a spring of water, whose waters do not fail.”
2 Timothy 3:16-17, “All Scripture is breathed out by God and profitable for teaching, for reproof, for correction, and for training in righteousness, that the man of God may be complete, equipped for every good work…..WE CAN’T LIVE WITHOUT IT.
Proverbs 11:25, “Whoever brings blessing will be enriched, and one who waters will himself be watered.
So often in our flesh, we want everyone to water us….it is easy for us to say there is one of us and 20 of them…it is easy for us to think about things from our perspective, our needs, our hurts…I have a mental picture that I try to remind myself of…I have built hedges around my heart before….so the water couldn't get in or out!!...I have been known to want to hide in the camper when things get hard!!!!!!! But let me tell you somethings, sweet friends…. the grass is greener where you water it!!! And the more you water, the more YOU ARE watered and the softer the soil of your heart!!!!!
And I want to close with this last thought because when I think about the water boy/girl, it also makes me think of a servant…what better way to represent and fight for TEAM REFORMATION than with a servant’s heart…..what better way to flourish as a pastor’s wife than to be a servant??....no matter what our positions, as a child of God, we are called to serve….but as Pastor’s wives we have such a beautiful opportunity to glorify God with our service……
John 13:12-17, “When he had washed their feet and put on his outer garments and resumed his place, he said to them, “Do you understand what I have done to you? You call me Teacher and Lord, and you are right, for so I am. If I then, your Lord and Teacher, have washed your feet, you also ought to wash one another's feet. For I have given you an example, that you also should do just as I have done to you. Truly, truly, I say to you, a servant is not greater than his master, nor is a messenger greater than the one who sent him. If you know these things, you will be blessed if you do them.”
Final thought…because the goal of playing football is to make the touchdown…to win.….to have a winning season!!! Well Sisters, we know, as believers, that we ultimately do win…
Revelations 11:15, “Then the seventh angel then blew his trumpet, and there were loud voices in heaven, saying, “The kingdom of the world has become the kingdom of our Lord and of His Christ, and He shall reign forever and ever.” Revelation 11:15
But as much as we want for the trumpet sound, I pray that in the meantime, we play the game well….that we give our Head Head Coach, and our Head Coach, and our TEAM 100%....by His grace!!!! I want us to flourish as pastor’s wives, as believers, and as friends and we cannot do that without an intimate personal relationship with our Savior and without being in His Word…because in the ministry we will have winning seasons…growth, good finances, unity….and no drama, but we will also have seasons that feel like we are losing….people leaving, disunity, lack of money….but no matter what our season, GOD’S GRACE IS SUFFICIENT!!!
And as I close, my prayer for us is that when we all stand before our Father, He will be able to look at us and say that we played our positions well…that He will say, “Well done, my good and faithful servant.
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