Sunday, October 10, 2010

Help me Lord to go to bed!!!!!

This blog finds me struggling.  Struggling with knowing what I am "called" to do.  Struggling with what not to do or not do so much of, etc.etc.

I know I am called to be a pastor's wife.  I know because I know Rusty was called to preach and I was called to be his wife!!!    I know that being a pastor's wife means being involved.  I know that I don't want to be a side-line pastor's wife.  I want to work, serve, and faithfully be in attendance. I know I want to be a helpmate to him not only in our ministry but in our home as well.

Genesis 2:18 

 Then the Lord God said, “It is not good that the man should be alone; I will make him a helper fit for him.”

I know I am called to be a mom, and not just a mom, but a godly mom...of an autistic son and ADHD daughter.

Proverbs 22:6 Train a child in the way he should go, and when he is old he will not turn from it.

I believe with every fiber of my being that I am called to homeschool.  I love it and I desire to not only do it, but to do it to the best of my ability.

Deuteronomy 6:6–7These commandments that I give you today are to be upon your hearts.  Impress them on your children. Talk about them when you sit at home and when you walk along the road, when you lie down and when you get up.

        I know I am called to be a godly daughter because I have a mama!!!  I want to be a good daughter and I desire to help her...more than I do!!

I know I am called to be a friend... a godly friend... a praying friend.  And I am so blessed to have many friends. People to weep with and rejoice with.  People to talk to and listen to.  People to cook for, celebrate birthdays with, love on, and pray for.  People to raise my kids with and share my life with.

"A man that hath friends must shew himself friendly: and there is a friend that sticketh closer than a brother."Prov 18:24 

I feel like I am called to write this blog.  I love sharing my heart and my homeschooling, my walk with Christ and my walking with Alec & Autism.

Proverbs 27:17  As iron sharpens iron, so one man sharpens another.

I KNOW I am called to keep my house - brutal!!! - to dust, to mop, to sweep, to clean toilets, and do laundry (double brutal), to cook...and clean after I cook.

Titus 2:3-8
 Older women likewise are to be reverent in behavior, not slanderers or slaves to much wine. They are to teach what is good (Is laundry good??) and so train the young women to love their husbands and children,  to be self-controlled, pure, working at home (sweeping, cooking,dusting, toilets, etc.etc. brutal!!!), kind, and submissive to their own husbands, that the word of God may not be reviled.

I know I should exercise.  Is that a calling????

1 Corinthians 6:19-2 Or do you not know that your body is a temple of the Holy Spirit within you, whom you have from God? You are not your own,  for you were bought with a price. So glorify God in your body

I know I am called to be hospitable.

1 Peter 4:9 Show hospitality to one another without grumbling.

Romans 12:13 Contribute to the needs of the saints and seek to show hospitality.

I know I am called to "GET UP" - and I know I should before my people!!!

Mark 1:35 Very early in the morning, while it was still dark, Jesus got up, left the house and went off to a solitary place, where he prayed.

I know I am called to study and read and search the Word everyday.  I know it is important to know what I believe and how to walk this road of sanctification.  And know it is not a "calling", but I love to read other books that encourage me in my walk with Christ.

2 Timothy 2:15  Do your best to present yourself to God as one approved, a workman who does not need to be ashamed and who correctly handles the word of truth.

And I know I am called to sit at His feet...

Luke 10:38-42 Now as they went on their way, Jesus entered a village. And a woman named Martha welcomed him into her house.  And she had a sister called Mary, who sat at the Lord's feet and listened to his teaching.  But Martha was distracted with much serving. And she went up to him and said, “Lord, do you not care that my sister has left me to serve alone? Tell her then to help me.”  But the Lord answered her, “Martha, Martha, you are anxious and troubled about many things, but one thing is necessary. Mary has chosen the good portion, which will not be taken away from her.”

So here is the million dollar question:  HOW????????

How do I fit it all in?
How do I do what God has called me to do... and how do I do it well?
How do I minister to all those the Lord has given me to minister to?
How do I study enough to show myself approved??
How do I decide who needs me much is too much...when to back off???

I surely don't have all the answers and would love any advice or words of wisdom that anyone reading this blog would care to give.

I do, however, know some no brainers:
*watch less T.V. (and as a side note, the DVR can tend to be a curse rather that a blessing because I tape the shows I want to watch, but by the time I can watch them it is after 11:00 which means I stay up too late and then can't get up the next morning - more on that note later).
*Facebook can be a distraction as well.
* The internet in general can keep me occupied way more than I need to be...even when I are googling good stuff.  The wealth of info available on this computer in regards to homeschooling is ridiculously unreal!!!!

But I know for me, as I have prayed this weekend and as I have been writing this blog, the Lord has revealed to me that my biggest calling, as a child of the King, is to seek first the Kingdom of God and His righteousness.  The best way for me to seek Him is to go to bed!!!!! What's that you say???  I have to go to bed so I can wake up!!!  So I can sit at His feet.  So I can ask Him what He wants me to do today. So I can be ready for the day... before my day!!  So I can be ready to minister to all the people the Lord has blessed me with in my life.  So my heart will be prepared for tough days with Alec and autism. So I can be a helpmate to Rusty.  So I am not always running around discombobulated!! So I will have answers when my friends need godly advice.  So I will be ready when things run amuck!!

Help me Lord to live intentionally.  Help me to intentionally go to bed by 10:30 every night and to intentionally wake up before my family to prepare my heart for what You have in store for me that day.  Thank you for my high calling as a woman and forgive me when I fall short.  Thank you for Your amazing grace......


  1. Please note that I sent the post 2 minutes before 10:30!! I did take a quick bath and read a bit after, but I was up before my people!!! I am trying my best to live intentionally, and I am so thankful that God is faithful!

  2. Ditto! I share the same struggles. Wish I had some golden advice, but I agree that getting a good night's sleep is a good start. I'm worthless when I haven't had enough sleep.