Friendship is one of the greatest blessing the Lord gives us. It is a blessing when we have people to celebrate with us as well as cry with us. It is a blessing to have folks to fellowship with, raise our kids with, get advice from….it is an amazing gift to have friends who can pray for us ...friends who point us to Christ, friends who tell us and remind us of the promises of God...friends who get in the trenches with us…..but this doesn't happen automatically ...things have to happen and a couple of things that have to happen have to do with tying those all important heart strings….we have to tie them first and foremost with our Christ and then with each other…
Tying heart strings with Christ will be the only way we can effectively tie heart strings with each other. And we tie heartstrings with Him the same way we do each other ...by spending time with Him, investing in His Word, talking to Him ...by looking to Him as our example...cause let’s be for real ...friendships can be hard because people can be hard...and even hurtful ...But Jesus came to redeem and restore all things, including our relationships with one another. Because he is Our Perfect Friend….
There’s an old hymn titled that says,
Jesus! What a Friend for sinners!
Jesus! Lover of my soul;
Friends may fail me, foes assail me,
He, my Savior, makes me whole.
Though our earthly friends may fail us and earthly foes assail us, Jesus stands by us, our perfect friend. His love for us is unconditional; it’s not based on who we are and what we’ve done. His love is not fickle or temporary. He doesn’t make promises and then fails to keep them. He won’t turn on us and reject us. Jesus’s love for us is eternal, extending all the way back in eternity past, before time even began. And nothing can separate us from his love. Even now, he is at work for us, interceding before the Father on our behalf: “Consequently, he is able to save to the uttermost those who draw near to God through him, since he always lives to make intercession for them” (Hebrews 7:25)....He is the friend we never had, the friend we never deserved, the one friend we all need — our perfect friend...He is truly our perfect friend and a great role model for the kind of friend we should be. What a great example Christ is ...Jesus was loyal, brave, humble, honest, compassionate, protective, encouraging, dependable, faithful, kind, loving, forgiving and completely sacrificial (just to name a few!). In John’s gospel He said:
“Greater love has no one than this, that someone lays down his life for his friends. You are my friends if you do what I command you. No longer do I call you servants, for the servant does not know what his master is doing; but I have called you friends, for all that I have heard from my Father I have made known to you.” John 15:12-15
We think of all the names of Jesus...King of King, Lord of Lords, Prince of Peace, Savior, Lamb of God, but He was also called our friend.
Sometimes we take a list of qualities, like the one above and say we’d like to have more friends like that, but maybe we should switch our focus off what we get out of our friendships to what we put into them.
He freely gave Himself.
He came to serve and not to be served.
He did not try to get anything out of man, but instead, He gave man His all!
He washed His disciples feet!!
“Have this attitude in yourselves which was also in Christ Jesus, who, although He existed in the form of God, did not regard equality with God a thing to be grasped, but emptied Himself, taking the form of a bond-servant, and being made in the likeness of men. Being found in appearance as a man, He humbled Himself by becoming obedient to the point of death, even death on a cross.” – Philippians 2:5-8
The friendships we have with other believers are rooted in our friendship with Christ. They blossom and bear fruit out of our relationship with him. In fact, our friendship with Jesus creates and shapes our friendships with others.
Jesus describes himself as the vine and us as the branches,
“Abide in me, and I in you. As the branch cannot bear fruit by itself, unless it abides in the vine, neither can you, unless you abide in me. I am the vine; you are the branches. Whoever abides in me and I in him, he bears much fruit, for apart from me you can do nothing.” (John 15:4–5)
Through faith in what Jesus did for us in his perfect life, sacrificial death, and triumphant resurrection, we are united to him. Through this union, we receive all the benefits of what he has done for us — justification, adoption, sanctification, glorification, and more. Just as a branch receives its life and sustenance from the vine, we too receive our spiritual life and health through our union with Christ. We grow and bear fruit from what he provides ...so that means when we are in Christ, we have the ability to be good godly friends.
Every other friendship a Christian makes or maintains stems from their friendship with Christ. When we are adopted by the Father through Jesus, we are united to every other believer; they are our brothers and sisters in the Lord. Believers past, present, and even those yet to be born are our siblings in Christ. We are united to them just as the parts of a human body are connected to one another. In fact, we are so tightly woven together that when one part of the body hurts, we all hurt (1 Corinthians 12:26- If one member suffers, all suffer together; if one member is honored, all rejoice together.)
We can only love one another because God loved us first (1 John 4:19). Biblical friendship begins with Christ and extends outward, not the other way around. His love flows into us, and out of that love, we love others. As we abide in him, we are fueled to love and serve our brothers and sisters. We receive the nourishment we need from Christ, and then share that spiritual nourishment with others. And because they are drinking from the same vine, they do the same for us ...that is the beauty of sweet Chrsitian sisterhood.
We all come to faith the same way, by grace through faith. Not one of us has it all together; we all rely upon the grace and favor of God. Because we know the mercy and forgiveness of Jesus, we can be patient and forbearing with one another (Ephesians 4:32). Jesus’s constant grace toward us when we sin and fail him enables us to forgive others when they fail or sin against us.
Jesus is our first friend, creating and shaping our friendships with others. We love out of the overflow of his love for us. Jesus is also our perfect friend, the one who loves at all times. When friends fail us and let us down, we can continue to love them because we know we have been loved with a perfect and unfailing love. Because — as the old hymn says — Jesus is with us to the end.
So along those same lines, what are some ways we can tie the appropriate heart strings with the people we love ...not just our friends, but our children, our husbands, other family members….
We tie heartstrings when we…
We remind our friends that only Christ can fill that hole in our soul.
Of all the joys of life, God is the greatest! We were made for him — to enjoy him and center our hearts and lives on him. And like any other joy, our joy in God will be fullest when we share it with other people. Christian friends help us enjoy God by enjoying him with us.
It’s tempting to flip and distort this formula by using God as a means to enjoy people more. If we only go to him to ask for spouses, friends, or kids to enjoy, it reveals we see God as the means to someone else. We should be doing the opposite: looking for more of him in other people. Ironically, we will enjoy our friends more, the more our friendships become a means of enjoying God ...life changing!!
By exposing sin in each other ...Faithful are the wounds of a friend; profuse are the kisses of an enemy. (Proverbs 27:6)
We need friends to lovingly show us our sin. We need friends to help us see our blind spots. We need friends to speak with brutal honesty (Matthew 18:15- 15 “If your brother sins against you, go and tell him his fault, between you and him alone. If he listens to you, you have gained your brother).and tender compassion (Galatians 6:16 Brothers, if anyone is caught in any transgression, you who are spiritual should restore him in a spirit of gentleness. Keep watch on yourself, lest you too be tempted.), telling us the truth about ourselves even when we don’t want to hear it (Ephesians 4:15-15 Rather, speaking the truth in love, we are to grow up in every way into him who is the head, into Christ,).
This is a vital function of community that few people want. We’d much rather have friends who always tell us what we want to hear, who show us the false grace of excusing sin and give us false hope that we can grow closer to God without repentance. But because sin is a poison to our souls and a thief of our joy in God, we cannot afford to forsake this kind of friendship.
By encouraging obedience....Let us consider how to stir up one another to love and good works. (Hebrews 10:24; see also Hebrews 3:1313 But exhort one another every day, as long as it is called “today,” that none of you may be hardened by the deceitfulness of sin.)
While it is true we need friends to help us see any disobedience, we also need them to spur us on to obedience. Often, obedience to God takes more courage than we can muster alone. Without the faithful cheerleading of Christian friends, we easily shrink back into stagnant apathy, not wanting to willfully disobey, but also too afraid to step out in faith.
The encouragement we are told to give isn’t flattery, or superficial inspiration. En-courage-ment is giving courage and strength to others for the intimidating task before them. We cast a bigger vision for why their obedience matters for God’s kingdom. We affirm that their obedience glorifies God and counts in eternity.
Whatever form it takes, encouragement motivates others to continue running the specific race God has marked out for them.
By pointing each other to Christ...especially when we are weak.
Behold, some men were bringing on a bed a man who was paralyzed, and they were seeking to bring him in and lay him before Jesus, but finding no way to bring him in because of the crowd, they went up on the roof and let him down with his bed through the tiles into the midst before Jesus. (Luke 5:18–19)
Walking through life in a God-belittling world, with our sin-ridden flesh, against a hell-bent enemy, is too hard to be attempted alone. Alone, we easily believe the lies of Satan. Alone, we buckle under the weight of our sin. Alone, we grow discouraged and weary. Like the paralytic, we need the help of other believers to carry us to God.
So, how can we bring others to God? We listen to a sister confess a hidden sin and wash her with the truth that Christ has cleansed her and made her whole. We can meet the practical needs of those enduring intense suffering in Jesus’s name. Or we can simply bring our friends in prayer, asking him to do greater things in their lives than we can do for them.
By loving and pouring out grace for God’s glory and by HIS grace..
Whatever you do, do all to the glory of God. (1 Corinthians 10:31)
The world’s idea of intimacy in friendship is making much of one another: “I can’t live without you!” Compliments and pledges of devotion quickly give a brief and false adrenaline rush of importance and significance. We certainly need to encourage and affirm one another, but Christian friends should be far more focused on God’s weight and significance — not their own or their friend’s.
Like everything else, the end goal of our friendships should be God and his glory. Since our hearts are prone to wander away and worship other things, we need these constant reminders of his glory and his worth in our friendships.
This is what tying heart strings look like...this is from Nancy De’Moss’s podcast about what ministry looks like but I believe with all my heart that tying heart strings IS a ministry.
Tying heart strings….
is giving when you feel like keeping
is praying for others when you need to be prayed for
is feeding others when your own soul is hungry
is living truth before people even when you can't see the results
is hurting with other people even when your own hurt can't be spoken
is keeping your word even when it's not convenient
is being faithful when your flesh wants to run away
That is ministry ...that is true godly friendships...that’s tying heartstrings...and when you do, you reap what you sow.
The benefits….
You have relationships that are transparent (clear)and authentic (open)!
A real friendship is built over time and formed firmly through trust.
No friendship will always be perfect however; in sharing our triumphs and life struggles authentically...openly and honestly,,,with one another, a foundation of a quality and genuine friendship can take place.
When vulnerability embraces trust, we can form lasting and Christ centered friendships. By being authentic in who we are, we can be authentic and real in our friendships too.
“As iron sharpens iron, so one person sharpens another’’. Proverbs 27:17
We always have accountability..My most meaningful and lasting friendships have been with those who tell me the things that I don’t always want to hear.
Tying heart strings helps us know the difference between criticism and accountability. Criticism is an unwanted superficial judgment whereas accountability is being honest in truth out of an authentic love and genuine care.
A Godly friendship keeps us accountable to the word of God, and when we are about to stumble, they tell us to ‘’watch out’’ because they care for us.
Though we don’t always like to hear it, a Godly friend will always tell us the truth and keep us accountable to the application of God’s word in our daily lives.
“Where there is no guidance a people fails, but in an abundance of counselors there is safety”. Proverbs 11:14
We have steadfastness in our relationships...
Our friendships need to be firm in purpose and firmly established.
A steadfast friend is one who is unwavering and unmovable. Grounded in faith and in the word of God, they understand His love and purpose.
When we are mutually following our purpose, and the call of God on our lives we can pursue Godly friendships that will jointly encourage us and sharpen us in the direction of our life.
A steadfast friend is one who when the storms of life come, will be firmly grounded, unfaltering and fixed on the foundation of Christ. They will be there for us no matter what, in times of trials, struggles and success.
“Steadfast love and faithfulness meet; righteousness and peace kiss each other.’’ Psalm 85:10
Tying heart strings will allow us to see each other’s hearts...it will make us better friends...true friends that are rooted and grounded in Christ.
A true friend will be willing to sacrifice their interests for the interests of others around them.
Godly friendships will reveal humility in action. A Godly friend will want to help us carry our burdens, not add to them.
Like, Jesus they will offer to take our heavy loads and come alongside us in a spirit of humility and love.
A great indicator of selflessness is time. When our friends give us their time, it encourages us to see that we are valued and loved.
Instead of an attitude of “what can I get from you?”, Godly friendships will show us a selfless attitude of, “how can I serve you?”
“This is my commandment that you love one another as I have loved you. Greater love has no one then this, that someone lay down his life for his friends’’. John 15:12-13
Comments
Post a Comment